Girlfriends of the Southern Variety

Growing up in Pratt City, I was surrounded by women who had, and were themselves, friends -- women friends -- girl friends. In my mother's South it wasn't considered odd, unusual, or perverted for adult women to be friends -- even life-long friends.

My mother had a close circle of girlfriends, some were life-long friends, some were friendships made along the way. I remember these ladies gathering together to cook, eat, laugh, ....whatever it was they did. They took the time -- made the effort -- to come together and stay current, refresh their caring for each other. Their laughter, their gasps of mock-scandalization would bring smiles to the faces of their children who were playing together just out of ear shot (or so we thought). As one of the children, I remember us making up then presenting plays to our mothers, choreographing variety shows, telling ghost stories, sharing valued individual skills with each other -- such as how to pop gum, burp, fart....

Remembering back, my mom's friends were always there for her, and she for them. Even though my mom had three sisters, to whom she was close, she always had her friends. When she was sick, these friends were on the front lines for her. Being young myself at the time, I didn't realize how important they were to her. I'm just learning some of the stories as, for some reason, several of these women are, one by one, finding their way back into my life. It comforts me to know how surrounded by love she was.

My mom's friends had families of their own, but one of my aunts had a friend who was single. I don't know if it's true or something I romanticized, but I have the notion that her fiancee came to a tragic end in WWII. Whatever the reason, this friend was a huge support to my aunt -- just as I imagine my aunt was to her. I remember this friend as being competent in her job, and dedicated to her invalid mom. I also remember her being around a lot helping my aunt. She loved my cousins like they were her own. And I felt her concern and affection for me all my life.

What's the status of female friendship in today's world I wonder? Speaking for myself, it's lacking. I know it's my own fault; I'm just not sure if it's because I've not put forth the effort or because it's just the way I'm wired. Whatever the reason, I miss it -- this female friendship and support. The fleeting slices of it I have, make me want more. Do you think that I've put that desire to the universe and that's why all these wonderful women from my past are finding me? Whatever the reason, I pray that I can contiue to nurture the new/old friendships being (re)gifted to me.

I am so glad that my daughter has taken, and is still taking the time and energy to care for her girl friends. As wonderful and valuable as men are, there are some things that only another woman can understand.